America's Newest Witch

by ESME ELLIS

Christine O'Donnell. What a perfectly ravishing example of American lunacy.
I had assumed that after Madame Palin, we were done with these all-American Madonnas, with little else to do than attempt to re-enact high school power struggles on the American political stage. This was wrong of me- they have found a corner market, a niche to call their own, and the liberal parties in this country would be very, very foolish to dismiss them.

The Tea Party has a simple message and this makes them highly accessible to large portions of the country that have never before felt inclined, galvanized or represented accurately enough to vote. These women appeal on every level- there is something cut-throat about those perfectly glinting teeth, constructed hairstyles, and twinkling eyes. They appeal in the same way Katie Couric appeals- all-American, perfectly put together, and most importantly, a conduit for someone else's voice.

They are the champions of the everyday man, the competition to the educated elite. What is even more worrying is that they have defined what the everyday man ought to look like, and thus have created a permanent voting block. The educated elite become the evil, rather than the salvation. In this, Palin's Tea Party is taking on Plato himself, defying 2,000 years of Western Classicism and literary tradition.

I admit that it is a bit strong of an allegation, but it is important to note that this party only deals in terms of absolutes. Absolutes are comprehensible, accessible, and better yet, easily communicated. There is something classic about the rise of the Tea Party, something vaguely impressive about the whole process of creating a party to defend pure principle. The only downside, really, is that they have created a definition of working class that has to be strictly adhered to. The working class must now only include anti-abortion, anti-gay marriage, pro-gun supporters, or face the excommunication of being labeled liberal. There is very little room for difference of opinion within the ranks of the Tea Party, perhaps because it is still a minority party. And yet, we must ask ourselves, what does it mean, that in this day and age, America's leading minority party is Tea Party, rather than perhaps the Green Party? The Germans have have succeeded in electing a Green- Socialist coalition in the past- America is barely capable of mustering a Green Party contender, never mind victor, each electoral period.

As for the latest saga in the Beauty Queen Diaries, Christine O'Donnell has managed to make herself a Senatorial Contender in the state of Delaware. She is perhaps an increasingly less rare example of what can go wrong when you put lipstick on a bulldog. Witchcraft allegations are the least of her problems. Actually, I don't think they serve much purpose, except to perhaps alienate some of her would-be evangelical supporters. It is certainly an odd position for a candidate of her persuasion to admit, but I assume she is taking an Obama-like " I inhaled- that was the point-" line on this witchcraft affair. In fact, it would almost make me like her as a canidate, and applaud her success in the primaries, if she weren't such a giant nutter.

Christine O'Donnell is, for most Americans, a canidate running purely on issues of sexuality. I literally have no idea about her political stance, other than the fact that she is worse than most great-aunts when it comes to sex. Do a little research, and it turns out Christine has been preaching longer than most middle-aged despots. In the media, she is only covered as the "virginal witch woman" with money problems, and that, combined with her killer smile and easy attitude, has made her a captivating American figure. My personal favorite is the equation of "mixed dorm floors" to , and I quote, " menage-a-trois" rooms. I literally can only imagine what a "menage-a-trois " room would look like. Also, is that a word that we use now? Did she just make it up?

I doubt she will win. That being said, I am secretly thrilled she made it past the primaries. What a prime example of the possibilities in America that still exist.